One of the interesting things about an artist’s life–or at least this artist’s life–is the fickleness of happiness. Really, it’s a transient thing. I can go from abject depression to ebullient joy in a heartbeat, usually from just choosing one vs. the other. Emotions in general are transient.
That said, sometimes a particular emotion, say sadness, has more sway than others. This is known in common parlance as depression. I have moods like that often. It seems to go in cycles. I’ll have a good week–or at least not spectacularly bad–followed by a do-I-even-want-to-get-up-and-do-anything week. Not that it’s inherently a problem to experience these things. It makes for great artistic fodder, at least when there’s art to be created or inspired creation to feed the energy it creates.
It’s my hope that I’ll have more opportunity to create, or at least receive compensation for same. Once the massage album is released (which should be any day now–I’ve yet to hear from the duplication folks re: the misprints), that will provide some impetus. In a sense that’s one reason for it’s creation: I needed a spark. Having product, and particularly people who want that product, means everything. No longer would I need to dig in my soul for a reason.