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Slow Progress

by Ostin 0 Comments

I had a good conversation with my mother this morning, in essence laying out some of my mental problems and outlining what I’m thinking of doing about them. It was nicely refreshing to unload some of the baggage I’ve been hanging onto for far, far too long. Hanging onto things is something I do a lot of, and it’s something I need to outgrow or learn better ways to handle.

English is hard sometimes. I sit here thinking I can form a coherent sentence, then I read what I just typed and realize there’s 13 better ways to say the same thing. My impatience for output can be–no, it is–the death of my accurate expression of thought. In the realm of film audio, especially film composing, speed and quality are two qualities which are golden to have. I’ve got that, but it doesn’t really bode well when you’re trying to emote something in an inherently emotionless medium such as words, which are concrete by definition thereby making them grossly inadequate when it comes to expressing abstract thoughts.

Redo

by Ostin 0 Comments

It’s time for me to make some wholesale changes, in my digital life and in my physical life. Effective immediately:

  • This is now a personal blog.
  • All business-related (i.e. audio post-production) information will be available at http://www.odiopost.com

I have a problem with Pride. As in, I have way too much. I consider myself fairly independent, yet that thinking is probably nothing more than self delusion. In fact, I’m pretty certain that I’ve been lying to myself for far too long. My current emotional/mental state, to be blunt, is not that good right now. I have, if you will, hit bottom, and I’ve realized/decided that pretending to be something (strong, stable, OK) which I’m clearly not is too destructive to my world to continue.

I need to actually let people into my life–something I haven’t done for a long time. It’s going to be hard and I know that I’ll fail, both at good times and bad. But it’s worth it.